Their, there, they're...when (and why) grammarians need comfort

There is a joke among some who either study grammar or aim to. "When a grammarian is in distress, one should always say 'they're, there, their' to soothe them". It is a rather amusing joke, and I sure had a laugh of it until I saw IT. The worst abomination of the they're/there/their muddling that I had ever seen. It came from bad grammar and a lack of compassion to those that these mistakes cause pain, I present to you: theiyr're. It's okay, it will get better - I felt that horror too. This causes a cringe of pain in my grammar heart. Some people don't understand the abomination causes pain - a twisting break in my soul that can only be remedied by a hot cup of tea and a good, grammatically-sound book. Well, c'est la vie, and since all is fair in love and war, we must fight against it with all our might. Why allow this to turn the English language into a free-for-all when we can just throw grammars (the book) at people who don't "English" the right way?

This nonsense has gone on long enough, and it's time to make a move - I propose several ideas to aid in the abolition of this egregious error, each a bit more. . . enthusiastic than the last
1. Pass out informational fliers to aid in grammar retention.
2. When someone uses the wrong /ðɛər/ (the IPA spelling of there/their/they're) in writing, make very strongly worded corrections.
3. If someone keeps making mistakes, beat them with a hardcover grammar.
4. Tattoo the correct usages on their body.


Just a reminder, as this isn't that difficult:
There - place
Their - possessive
They're - they are

Finally, NEVER use theiyr're, as it will make those reading the writing prone to automatic failing, wails of despair, and general unhappiness.

(183 words)